 If
you were starting APCH all over again, what would you do differently?
What
advice would you give someone who wants to start a youth center
like A Place Called Home?
What is your current position at APCH?
How’s your diet going?
Do you ever want to drink or smoke?
Do you ever want to go back into
the closet?
Lots of dogs appear and disappear in your story.
What
happened to them?
What’s your next project?
Will there be a movie made from Fat
Stupid Ugly?
If you were starting APCH all over again, what would
you do differently?
I’d ask for advice and help from people with experience doing
this kind of thing, and take classes on fundraising
and grant writing. We just blundered ahead and succeeded by sheer
will.
I’d make sure to have someone help me write a smart,
realistic business plan that was simple enough to follow—and
then follow it!
I’d start out with more volunteers—a
higher ratio of volunteers to children—so that each child
would get more attention. Food and attention—that’s
what they need.
What advice would you give someone who wants to
start a youth center like A
Place Called Home?
No matter how wonderful you are, no matter how fantastic
your services are, you will always need money. The
fundraising never
stops. If
you get a big donation, it feels like it’s
going to last forever. It won’t. Be prepared
for that. If you don’t
like asking for money or talking to the public, then
you have two choices: find someone who does, or go
into a different line of
work.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
And don’t
be afraid to ask high-profile people to help you.
Most people are loving and generous at heart and
sometimes they’re just waiting
for someone to come along and ask them to help.
On
the other hand, don’t take it personally when
people say no.
Volunteers are amazing, wonderful people,
but they’ll get
burned out if you keep piling more and more work
on them; they don’t have the added motivation
of a paycheck. Break the responsibilities down into
small chunks and divide them among several
people.
Have regular meetings and talk to your workers
to get progress reports and solve problems. Listen.
Say Thank
You. Figure
out ways to show your appreciation.
Take care of yourself,
too. It’s easy to work right through
your days, nights and weekends when you launch
a new project. Nobody’s
going to come along and rescue you, and you’ll
stop being effective if you don’t take a
break. Build some time off into your schedule.
Don’t
give up.
What is your current position at APCH?
As of the eleventh anniversary of APCH, I am officially
transitioning to a fancy new title: President
Emeritus. It’s an honorary
role that takes me out of the day-to-day administrative
duties at the center, but allows me to stay involved with the
children,
to teach yoga, and to contribute my ideas and
energy as I see fit. We have a great staff and a very involved
board of directors to
keep things running.
How’s your diet going?
The same. Every couple of months, I optimistically
begin some miraculous new diet, but my weight
stays pretty
much the same.
Do you ever want to drink or
smoke?
I don’t want to drink, but the desire to smoke just doesn’t
go away. I take it one day at a time.
Do you
ever want to go back into the closet?
Sometimes things feel
bleak or I get depressed, but I now realize that, for me, those
are pretty
normal
parts
of
living and that
they’ll pass. I have a wonderful support
network, and I’ve
gotten much better at describing my feelings
and asking for help when I need it. When I
didn’t know how to express my feelings,
when I was afraid, the closet (or the bottle)
offered me safety. Now I find comfort in talking
things through, getting them out,
and going on to whatever’s next.
Lots of dogs appear and disappear
in your story. What happened to them?
Throughout my life, I’ve given things away. It started when I was a child
and gave away my Christmas gifts, and it continues right up to the present time.
As I moved around and struggled through my various relationships and crises,
some of the dogs (and occasionally cats) turned into gifts that I gave away to
people who really, really wanted them.
Elphants stayed with Sandy after we broke
up.
Bub, my dog of dogs, was my greatest loss. When Steve and I decided
we had too many dogs for our move to Seattle, Bub drew the short
straw
because he
was so
friendly and independent. I found a wonderful home for him, where he slept
with his new owner, had a pillow with a view out the window, and saved the
life of
his elderly and formerly sedentary companion by insisting on frequent walks.
But I missed him terribly, dreamed about him, and tried for years to replace
him.
Charlie lived with us for years and eventually retired to the country
with a close friend of the family.
Another Charlie, a chow, lived with me to a ripe old age. The husband
of one of my Jon Douglas co-workers loved Charlie so much that
he’d stop by my
apartment, pick him up, and take him window-shopping in Beverly Hills,
where Charlie acquired quite a fan club.
Bruno and Phantom moved
together to a fancy home in the country when I
moved out of the pink house.
Tutu was a wiry little terrier. He was as sweet
as can be during the day, but he must have had a sleep disorder
because on several occasions he bit
me viciously
during the night when I was asleep. My friend Bunny fell in love with
him and so he went to live with her; after she’d been bitten
a few times, she gave Tutu to yet another friend.
Each of these dogs
would live with me for months, or years, and eventually
someone would come along and say oh I’ve always wanted a dog like
that and I’d
pack the dog off to a happy new home. Giving them away seemed at the
moment to protect me from what I knew would be the pain of their eventual
death.
What’s
your next project?
I’m trying to figure that out. We have a “Fat Stupid
Ugly” story in Chicken Soup for the
Recovering Soul, which
will be released by Health Communications,
Inc. in January 2005. I’d love to do
a project with my sisters, but I’m not
sure what. Check back and I’ll keep you
posted.
Will there be a movie made from Fat
Stupid Ugly?
There’s been some interest. Again, check
back for further developments.
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